Metamusic

Alas, Wentworth is right. I was indeed too full of shit for the exam to be completed. I have to return in six months after three doses of Fleet.

The exam didn't resemble an inspection by aliens so much as a video game. You could probably base a good one on it.

I, too, have experienced first-hand the power of Fleet. While The Voidantist's Anthem was composed many years before, I came to relate to it in a new way. I'm afraid 24/7 intravenous Fleet equivalent would make nary a dent in the collective metaphorical mental excrement that pervades Canadian (dare I say, North American) academe.

Word around academe is that Dr. Herpes' procedure was only partially successful because he was so full of shit that three doses of powerful laxatives failed to clean him out.

Sidney informs me that he already has a title for the song -- "Afraid to Fart".

Certainly it was not I who played the young woman the Elvis cover tune referred to in the last post. For one thing, if it had been i she wouldn't have remembered it as the worst ever recorded.

I am having an archetypal Anachronistic experience this weekend, purging my bowels in preparation for a medical procedure on Monday. This procedure is remarkably similar to what people say happens to them when they are abducted by aliens. I can safely confirm that Fleet oral laxative works. I have passed the information along to Sidney in the hope that a song will result.

Dr. Sutton has passed the Spart-Hoxha data along to me. I hope to be able to perform some analyses of it while having my archetypal experience.

From the May 31 National Post: "Over the next 12 months I went on 30 dates with 24 men -- teachers, lawyers, artists, students, programmers, a doctor, a fireman, and a musicoethnologist who made me listen to the worst Elvis cover tune in history."

It sounds as if a Hardwick Herpes impersonator is on the loose. You'd think at least he could refer to himself correctly, as a musicoethnologist.