Metamusic

HERPES HEALTH UPDATE

Ottawa–Canadian health minister Pierre Pettigrew announced today that the federal government is acting to protect Sid Herpes' health by giving him a leaflet about SARS. "People with the Nadgers are particularly susceptible to SARS, and now that Sid has joined the bourgeois team we want him to stay healthy."

Mr. Herpes has reverted to the Herpes name from Sid BMW because he decided herpes was as bourgeois as the BMW. His porte-parole and aromatherapist D. D. Nemours announced today that thanks to vigorous frotteurian therapy Mr. Herpes is now down to a single Nadger. "We've laid on a couple more therapists today," she reported, "so Mr. Herpes should be getting up any moment now."