tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53432672011-07-08T03:53:47.456-07:00A weblog dedicated to the spectacular musical oeuvre of The AnachronismsActual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comBlogger901100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-55327678526497269472011-05-17T05:41:00.000-07:002011-05-17T06:19:05.986-07:00

Metamusical Inquiry Breakthrough ShockDr. Hardwick Herpes, legendary semiologicohermeneutician and metamusicologist, has revealed a theoretical breakthrough that threatens to stand the metamusical world on its head -- or perhaps he would prefer to say that it will put metamusicology back on its feet.Dr. Herpes, who posts on this blog but has forgotten his password, spoke exclusively to Global HQ

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-37625750551008368982010-06-07T16:51:00.000-07:002010-06-07T17:22:56.075-07:00

Divine Tragedy marks yet another landmarkSome things should be left alone. For example, I admire the Coen brothers a great deal but I cannot bring myself to watch their remake of The Ladykillers. In the visual arts redoing is outright fakery. No-one can now paint Guernica. Music is different. It's meant to be performed. My esteemed colleague, Hardwick Herpes, has pointed out that our society has

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-74018956887686512142010-02-02T06:23:00.000-08:002010-02-02T06:32:56.127-08:00

Anachronisms Rule Non-ShockOnce again the leadership of The Anachronisms in the music industry has been confirmed. At Sunday's Grammy Awards, not only did the group win no awards, but it was not mentioned even once during the "ceremony". This is the 29th consecutive Grammy production during which the position of The Anachronisms as the antithesis of the bland, hackneyed, unstimulating, derivative

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-88313377675085462452008-10-22T17:42:00.000-07:002008-10-23T16:38:36.387-07:00

Is MetaMusic metamusical?Up to about a year ago a www search would have turned up this site, the Anachronisms site and related sites and random junk. Now a search is dominated by commercial purveyors of a kind of muzak that uses sounds of nature and sundry "relaxing" sounds. Ironically this itself may be metamusic as, indeed, muzak may be.How can this be? The answer is suggested by a latent

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-76742385061466735122007-07-16T12:24:00.000-07:002007-07-16T12:32:42.422-07:00

"Art is art to the extent that it rejects conventional ways of looking at the world and instead attempts to project itself into the world" (J-I. Ange). "Le monde n’est pas un produit de l’art, et l’art n’est pas un produit du monde" (Roland Barphe).That is what fucking art is, and what it means to fuck art. You don't fuck art by writing "People tell me you're wasting my time/Keep wasting it, baby

Morningstar M. MacPhersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03463398348129968202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-64086777790360714412007-07-09T17:53:00.000-07:002007-07-09T17:58:59.483-07:00

I would remind Sid that no matter what he thinks (as described in his last post) of our advice, if he'd listened to me and his mother he'd never have ended up writing his soppy love song "That Way." Of course, Sid is our son, so we have borne up silently under the opprobrium, but we believe it's time he lost his fascination with Lawrence Welk.

Dr. Hardwick Herpeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06708156862785756284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-76821305006991116262007-07-05T16:56:00.000-07:002007-07-09T17:49:23.184-07:00

I got enough of the old man and the old lady's bullshit when I was growing up, and believe me -- publishing it here ain't helping anyone.You want to know what metamusic is? Then listen to "Art." What do we say over and over again in that song? Right -- "This is fucking art."Meta-art is art fucking art. Metamusic is music fucking music. And what happens when two things fuck? New things are born,

Sid Herpeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18024794669105654401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-86388466965443037412007-05-11T10:05:00.000-07:002007-05-11T10:18:51.538-07:00

My husband, Hardwick Herpes, has been mooning about the house for weeks now talking about re-defining metamusic. Nothing seems to be getting done, however, so I decided to take the matter in hand.Of course, metamusic needs to be redefined. Purveyors of New Age recordings which are supposed to alter your brain waves have co-opted the term. I'm afraid that my husband muddied the waters a bit by his

Morningstar M. MacPhersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03463398348129968202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-11172301095584633082007-01-29T14:18:00.000-08:002007-01-29T14:27:56.597-08:00

rupert's highly informative post has led me to propose another possibility: that music and metamusic are reframings not only of a more fundamental category but also of each other. For example, Monteverdi's introduction in "Tancredi e Clorinda" of consecutive quarter notes of the same pitch was initially rejected by the musicians hired to play it. To their minds it was like music, but not music.

Dr. Hardwick Herpeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06708156862785756284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-75755795731897429082007-01-26T08:15:00.000-08:002007-01-26T08:19:33.737-08:00

More breakthroughs in metamusic theoryDevelopments in metamusic theory have come so thick and fast recently that your humble reporter has been in “deer frozen in the headlights” mode these past several months. Let me try to summarize the extraordinary conceptual breakthroughs that have been made and are in process, as I write.On the heels of the proposed definition of metamusic as “something like

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1143141181839121322006-03-23T11:07:00.000-08:002006-03-23T11:13:01.850-08:00

NextThe release of the Anachronisms' CD Next has, as expected, clarified the nature of metamusic. After listening to this CD, and especially to the much anticipated "Ride My Love Cycle," I now propose a definition of metamusic as something like music. One advantage of this definition is that it provides a helpful theoretical framework for the important undertaking which rupert announced in the

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1136930466600534392006-01-10T14:00:00.000-08:002006-01-10T14:01:06.610-08:00

Song LiberationThe turn of a new year is as good a time as any to report on some of the fascinating work in which Hector la Paunche is engaged towards a reconceptualization of the nature of song.“Bad songs have a right to be sung, too.” This is his latest preoccupation. Central to this is his quest to determine what makes a bad song. “In English, there is the expression, ‘going for a song’, which

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1123791977358459582005-08-11T13:20:00.000-07:002005-08-11T13:26:17.363-07:00

TRUCE DECLAREDProminent metatheoreticians Hardwick Herpes and Wentworth Sutton have agreed to suspend their dispute over the definition of metamusic until they have had a chance to consider the implications of the Anachronisms' forthcoming release "Ride My Love Cycle." Inspired by yesterday's post by rupert, they look to the new release to provide a clearer view of the elusive metamusic

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1123681118280324442005-08-10T06:21:00.000-07:002005-08-10T06:38:38.286-07:00

Metamusic lightning caught in a bottleWord has it that debates about definitions of metamusic are about to be rendered moot by a new recording by Leo and the Fish. Rumours abound about a recent epoch-making recording at the supersecret Ayr location of Panda Studios. The track that will set the world of metamusic on its collective ear is reputedly titled Ride my Love Cycle. Listeners will respond

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1123194577762644722005-08-04T15:10:00.000-07:002005-08-04T15:29:37.766-07:00

UNDEFINITIONWhat I observed is that Dr. Herpes' notions cannot serve as the foundation of a definition. A definition of something as lacking certain characteristics (as Dr. Herpes puts it, as having non-triggers) is clearly indefensible. A boat does not have wheels, a telephone booth does not have wheels, therefore a telephone booth is a boat – not. We also need a definition of "inappropriate."

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1123102193066880612005-08-03T13:26:00.000-07:002005-08-03T13:49:53.070-07:00

Towards Defining MetamusicMy discomfort with the discovery of my WTHWT response to 78s was that it pointed to the inefficacy of WTHWT as a potential demarcation criterion. My delight at Hardwick's response is that it retrieves this possibility. Of course, the prior question - and it underlies Mr Sutton's contribution - is: why search for a definition of metamusic at all? In the end, this is

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1122649703230177062005-07-29T07:59:00.000-07:002005-07-29T08:08:23.230-07:00

WHAT THE HELL DIALECTIC WAS THAT?The dialectical method has been satisfied only if acknowledged metamusic and old 78s have been shown to be antithetical. One of course has every right to assert that "When I'm Calling You" is "inappropriate" (without a specification of what it is inappropriate to), but in the absence of evidence of this inappropriateness the scientific community will not take this

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1122648442396931382005-07-29T07:38:00.000-07:002005-07-29T07:58:32.786-07:00

NOS METAMUSICANDI RUPERTUM LAUDAMUSI thank Rupert for his comments but suspect he is too gracious. His posts have added an important new technical term – WTWHT – to metamusicology and opened a vast fertile field for semiologicohermeneutic research. As I have suggested, if a true dialectical synthesis is to be achieved the WTHWT response must be unpacked in terms of its triggers or non-triggers by

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1122643647746205052005-07-29T06:06:00.000-07:002005-07-29T06:27:27.750-07:00

The Dialectic Lives!I thank Dr Herpes wholeheartedly not only for his elucidation of a specific conundrum (mine, in relation to metamusic) but for his crystalline exemplification of the dialectic. Until Dr Herpes provided his clarification, I was gripped by a paradox: thesis - metamusic is that which is evoked by WTHWT; antithesis - Nelson Eddy evokes WTHWT. Hardwick provides the superordinate

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1122597512684383632005-07-28T17:12:00.000-07:002005-07-28T17:44:52.506-07:00

WTHWTThe metamusician will have the WTHWT response to non-metamusic as well as to metamusic. The typical episode of Canadian Idol will evoke this response repeatedly in any metamusical viewer, but we would hesitate to describe Canadian Idol as a purveyor of metamusic.Rupert is confusing his own personal characteristic of metamusical acuity with the characteristics of the music which evoke this

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1122565545310693472005-07-28T08:36:00.000-07:002005-07-28T08:45:45.316-07:00

Are 78s Metamusic?A logical consequence of the WTHWT diagnostic rule is that any recording or sonic experience that causes the WTHWT response should be considered metamusic. Most 78s arguably fall into this category. For example, I recently heard Nelson Eddy-Jeanette Macdonald duet and, indeed, said, sotto voce, to myself, "what the hell is that?" Yet, intuitively, this seems to expand the world

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1120088457424981692005-06-29T16:40:00.000-07:002005-06-29T16:40:57.426-07:00

We here at Freelton like the Zitherian vocal on "Between Iraq and a hard Place."

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1119904290522729072005-06-27T13:25:00.000-07:002005-06-27T13:31:30.526-07:00

Metamusic fans are agog with the latest rumours about the most recent session of the Anchovies. Word has it that a Zitherian proposal to adopt a group approach to new lyrics from Gram found favour and has spawned some stellar tracks, even by the standards of Leo & the Fish. These rumours continue that the lads have managed to expand into as-yet unexplored genres, including a Newman-esque piece.

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1113588789634763152005-04-15T11:08:00.000-07:002005-04-15T11:13:09.636-07:00

With the speculation that the Zither-Gram songwriting team is due to make a return with several new compositions, the music media has launched upon a predictable orgy of ill-informed gossip, mistruths and calumnies. Metamusic provides the following as a service to loyal fans of the Anachronisms and hopes that these Q&As will encourage the media to be more cautious in their gossip, mistruths and

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1097157370768078662004-10-07T06:48:00.000-07:002004-10-07T06:56:10.766-07:00

Unlike Wentworth, I see no reason not to admit that the lads are not the first practitioners of metamusic, but only the greatest. In fact, not being the originators seems more metamusical than being the originators. For example, who is more literary – the great writers of the twentieth century (okay, assuming there are any) or the first Viking to use runes to scratch crude notes into pieces of

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1095905790740243272004-09-22T19:08:00.000-07:002004-09-22T19:17:23.046-07:00

Re: New metamusic test Dylan and Neil Young were precursors of metamusic (protometamusical), as were the many Western classical and jazz musicians who tried to incorporate non-Western influences into their music. Leonard Cohen just can't sing. The most striking example of protometamusic I can think of at the moment is Link Wray's "Rumble," which challenges the myths of harmony and of musical

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1095869019855185692004-09-22T09:03:00.000-07:002004-09-22T09:06:59.976-07:00

New Metamusic Test Proposed Why do we like certain bands or musicians? Invariably there’s something “the same” about their music that’s sufficiently different from piece to piece to maintain interest. To those who don’t share a fan’s enthusiasm for a specific artiste it “all sounds the same”. In a certain sense most music is muzak. Not so metamusic. Metamusic makes the listener say, “what the

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1086895264770552802004-06-10T11:57:00.000-07:002004-06-11T13:00:24.090-07:00

Semiotics, Metamusic, Stockhausen and Building Trade Singing By Dr P Shirton-Backwards I was invited recently to a performance of Karl-Heinz Stockhausen's Stimmung in the quad of a college at Ockers. I don't quite recall which one. As I meditated on the performance, aided by a moderate quantity of very good claret, I brought to mind an interview with M. La Paunche on the Anachronisms website, in

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1086210917104644812004-06-02T14:09:00.000-07:002004-06-02T14:15:17.103-07:00

Further notes toward a semiologicohermenutics of the Anachronisms by Hardwick Herpes All music is conventional and arbitrary. Eastern and Western music differ profoundly, for example, and simply because musical conventions have developed differently in different parts of the world. No one would argue that Eastern music is right while Western music is wrong, for example. Nevertheless, people

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1084900628997230382004-05-18T10:05:00.000-07:002004-05-18T10:17:53.200-07:00

SID THROWS OFF AFFLICTION!! Anachronisms fans (Sid and Doris Bonkers) were delirious today as Sid Herpes announced that he had overcome both the Nadgers and bourgeoiserie. "In the deepest depths of my despair," Sid announced, "stricken with the dreaded Nadgers and the even more dreaded bourgeois outlook, I decided to listen to Strictly Washroom. After a few playings of "Dance Pathetic," the

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1083695360612784472004-05-04T11:29:00.000-07:002004-05-04T11:33:06.233-07:00

CANADA UNPREPARED FOR NADGERS EPIDEMIC The Fraser Institute today released a study casting severe doubt on the ability of Canada's health system to respond to an epidemic of the nadgers. "The only way to ensure that the rich will be adequately safe from a nadgers epidemic is to immediately (sic) privatize the health care system." said spokesperson Michael Jogger. Referring to the recent scare to

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1083183690041379112004-04-28T13:21:00.000-07:002004-04-28T13:26:35.420-07:00

HERPES HEALTH UPDATE Ottawa–Canadian health minister Pierre Pettigrew announced today that the federal government is acting to protect Sid Herpes' health by giving him a leaflet about SARS. "People with the Nadgers are particularly susceptible to SARS, and now that Sid has joined the bourgeois team we want him to stay healthy." Mr. Herpes has reverted to the Herpes name from Sid BMW because he

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1082481995375531012004-04-20T10:26:00.000-07:002004-04-20T10:31:14.606-07:00

SID BMW (HERPES) DOWN WITH THE NADGERS Metamusic fans have been anxiously awaiting news of the health of Sid BMW. Shortly after his name change rumours began to circulate that the Maestro was suffering from various ailments, from Ooglenacker's Syndrome to the Dreaded Mange. While these rumours, like most about the metamusical legend, proved to be unfounded, sometime Manager, spokesperson and

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1075928810955659122004-02-04T13:06:00.000-08:002004-02-04T13:13:08.936-08:00

SID COMES OUT Anachronisms guitarist Sid Herpes stunned the musical world today with an admission that over the years he, too, has become bourgeois. "I have sinned!" he exclaimed tearfully to an auditorium packed with delirious young women. "I have tasted the pleasures of the pelf!" When asked by reporters what measures Mr. Herpes would take to expiate his sin, his porte-parole and massage

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1074734312541208862004-01-21T17:18:00.000-08:002004-01-21T17:20:32.450-08:00

A message from Freelton Global Control: We have changed the blog template because of typographic inconsistencies which suddenly appeared in the old one.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1074732331083132732004-01-21T16:45:00.000-08:002004-01-21T17:12:49.826-08:00

Axes of Evil is also an anagram of 'E LOVES A FIX. Nothing about the Anachronisms is trivial. Living hard is better than dying hard.

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1074706264227901382004-01-21T09:16:00.000-08:002004-01-21T09:33:03.670-08:00

A few notes of trivia for you die-hard Anachronisms fans: A version of "Got My Mistletoe Working" was recorded by The Anachronisms in December of 1989 for a Christmas single, which was to have been released that Christmas. Both this recording and the one for the single's B side, "Slavic Bells", were lost before they were released. Two great Christmas recordings from December of 1987, "When a

Hugh Midweathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1074658604154882792004-01-20T20:03:00.000-08:002004-01-21T17:00:31.903-08:00

In May of 2003, Wentworth Sutton was quoted in this blog as stating, among other things: "As for the title of Axes of Evil, too little attention has been paid to the fact that it is an anagram of "Foxie Slave." Dr. Donald Zither points out that the title Axes of Evil is also an anagram of another phrase, which is closely related to the afore-mentioned one. This other phrase is "Foxies lave".

Hugh Midweathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1074107924884957262004-01-14T11:18:00.000-08:002004-01-14T13:39:25.200-08:00

What has happened to the hallowed, traditional Christmas songs of yesteryear? As a boy I remember meditating on the deep significance of Christmas while listening reverently to "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," but do Johnny Mathis and Brenda Lee get knighthoods/damehoods? Noooooo. Thank God (sic) that the Anachronisms have continued this tradition of fine Christmas

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1074039459014755812004-01-13T16:00:00.000-08:002004-01-20T20:01:53.640-08:00

Dulcimer Zither, another member of The Anachronisms, was later heard to suggest that something should also be done about everyone associated with "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time", by Paul McCartney, but allowed that exile from the planet Earth might be enough for these people.

Hugh Midweathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1071679261655577382003-12-17T08:41:00.000-08:002003-12-17T08:44:13.623-08:00

In an interview on Freelton television, metamusician Sid Herpes today called for the death penalty for everyone associated with the composition, recording, distribution, and playing of "Feliz Navidad."

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1071529939137354662003-12-15T15:12:00.000-08:002003-12-15T15:13:56.483-08:00

American officials have confirmed that no Anachronisms CDs or tapes were found in Saddam Hussein's bolthole, or indeed in any of the lavish properties in which he used to live. "If only he had listened to metamusic," said the governor of Iraq, J. Paul Bremer, "the Iraqi people would have been spared the long nightmare of Saddam Hussein's rule. Saddam would have spent his time doing productive

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1071246057773633032003-12-12T08:20:00.000-08:002003-12-12T08:22:04.466-08:00

Serendipity – the lyrics to Hector La Paunche's new masterpiece also work for the swearing-in of the new Canadian cabinet!

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1071114873121937522003-12-10T19:51:00.000-08:002003-12-11T05:34:33.686-08:00

Hector La Paunche was so moved by the matrimonials of Ryan and Trista that he has composed the following song in their honour. Gag me with a spoon Gag me with a spoon (continue ad nauseum) Sung to any tune whatever

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1070905878266619272003-12-08T09:51:00.000-08:002003-12-08T09:52:40.543-08:00

Anachronisms fans (Sid and Doris Bonkers) are agog at the news of the discovery of a stash of Anachro songs written in 1996 and 1997 but never recorded. The songs, written by Sid Herpes, were rehearsed by the Toronto-based members of the band, but got shunted aside during a period of infrequent recording. Mr. Herpes, who has a long history of alternative "vitamin" treatment, was apparently under

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1059663820957630532003-07-31T08:03:00.000-07:002003-07-31T08:03:40.816-07:00

While the Rolling Stones concert broke up hours ago, revellers (Sid and Doris Bonkers) at the competing Anachronisms concert party on. A police cordon has surrounded Edward VIII Park in Freelton and will remain there until Sid and Doris pass out. The concert was moved from the One-Stop Curl 'n' Kegel after the fans (Sid and Doris Bonkers) barfed in their bowling shoes.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1058902781946604192003-07-22T12:39:00.000-07:002003-07-22T12:40:50.396-07:00

The momentum of the Anachronisms' concert in competition with the Rolling Sloans on July 30 continues to build. Both the Freelton and Drumbo 7-11s report that they have sold out all the tickets they were allotted for the concert. The fans (Sid and Doris Bonkers) are already lining up at the One-Stop Curl 'n' Kegel in Freelton in an effort to be the first into the concert. Mr. and Mrs. Bonkers are

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1057624351272675242003-07-07T17:32:00.000-07:002003-07-07T17:32:31.250-07:00

Où sont les Hectors d'antan?

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-1056681533331705132003-06-26T19:38:00.000-07:002003-06-26T19:38:53.253-07:00

What spot will the lads have in the forthcoming concert in t-dot featuring the Rolling Stones, AC/DC, and other groups even older than the Anchovies? I suppose the pressure is on to let the Stones come on last, but I say resist.

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-959873582003-06-24T10:33:00.000-07:002003-06-24T10:33:20.150-07:00

Record stores around the world were jammed last night as fans lined up to be the first to obtain a copy of The Basement Tapes, the new CD re-release of the classic Anachronisms album. "The Anachronisms are great," said fan and Three Tenors member Luciano Mangiatutti. "They encourage young people to listen to metamusic. We tried the metamusic shtick when we sang "Moon River", but we just couldn't

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-956262602003-06-13T05:31:00.000-07:002003-06-13T05:31:17.706-07:00

Will Biff and Bump Get Married complete the pentalogy?

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-956045822003-06-12T14:05:00.000-07:002003-06-12T14:05:05.620-07:00

I had in mind the badinage from Beef I about Biff's tribulations in the Flaming Faggot, which has about the same genial vulgarity as the interplay with Doreen Sue and her interest in zippers. Like all great art, the resonances are too great to encompassed by one or two semiological insights; allusions to homoeroticism are but one more set of ideas that provide insight into the human condition

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-955999472003-06-12T11:48:00.000-07:002003-06-12T11:48:00.000-07:00

In fact, the title Beef has a homoerotic significance -- or as Hardwick would say, layers of homoerotic significance -- which certain authors of monographs about Gravy have failed to acknowledge. Are Biff and Bump but beef? I believe that is the chief question posed by the whole tetralogy.

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-955637822003-06-11T13:55:00.000-07:002003-06-11T13:56:40.000-07:00

The relationship between Biff and Bump is fraught with semiohomoeroticological significance. Obviously their relationship with each other is more important to them than their relationships with women, which apparently last for an average of about two hours apiece (sic). It is highly significant that in Beef 4, although Biff and Bump become dance stars they never dance with women. And I assume

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-955534452003-06-11T09:03:00.000-07:002003-06-11T09:04:53.000-07:00

Gay issues are another taboo that the Anachs have addressed in a distinctively different way; i.e. they poke fun at Gays in exactly the same way as everyone else - a stance that undoubtedly sits very badly with both the Politically Correct crowd and those who use the PC label as a cudgel, e.g. Deck Your Balls and dialogue from Beef. A Tribute to Sid Herpes' Commemorative Poem in the Style of EJ

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-955326242003-06-10T19:59:00.000-07:002003-06-10T19:59:30.000-07:00

A poem by Sid Herpes, to commemorate the legalization of gay marriage in Ontario A place to stand A place to grow Grooms are getting whisker burn In Ontario.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-953062372003-06-04T16:56:00.000-07:002003-06-04T16:56:43.746-07:00

Alas, Wentworth is right. I was indeed too full of shit for the exam to be completed. I have to return in six months after three doses of Fleet. The exam didn't resemble an inspection by aliens so much as a video game. You could probably base a good one on it.

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-952470152003-06-03T11:10:00.000-07:002003-06-03T11:10:37.500-07:00

I, too, have experienced first-hand the power of Fleet. While The Voidantist's Anthem was composed many years before, I came to relate to it in a new way. I'm afraid 24/7 intravenous Fleet equivalent would make nary a dent in the collective metaphorical mental excrement that pervades Canadian (dare I say, North American) academe.

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-952420742003-06-03T09:10:00.000-07:002003-06-03T09:10:53.003-07:00

Word around academe is that Dr. Herpes' procedure was only partially successful because he was so full of shit that three doses of powerful laxatives failed to clean him out.

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-951594282003-06-01T11:20:00.000-07:002003-06-01T11:20:42.040-07:00

Sidney informs me that he already has a title for the song -- "Afraid to Fart".

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-951536742003-06-01T07:51:00.000-07:002003-06-01T07:52:40.000-07:00

Certainly it was not I who played the young woman the Elvis cover tune referred to in the last post. For one thing, if it had been i she wouldn't have remembered it as the worst ever recorded. I am having an archetypal Anachronistic experience this weekend, purging my bowels in preparation for a medical procedure on Monday. This procedure is remarkably similar to what people say happens to them

Dr. Hardwick Herpesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-951534042003-06-01T07:40:00.000-07:002003-06-01T07:40:40.080-07:00

From the May 31 National Post: "Over the next 12 months I went on 30 dates with 24 men -- teachers, lawyers, artists, students, programmers, a doctor, a fireman, and a musicoethnologist who made me listen to the worst Elvis cover tune in history." It sounds as if a Hardwick Herpes impersonator is on the loose. You'd think at least he could refer to himself correctly, as a musicoethnologist.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-950191062003-05-28T20:10:00.000-07:002003-05-28T20:10:40.706-07:00

A quick look at the datafile used by Dr. Spart-Hoxha reveals a dozen songs involving bowel function, for only three of which were the bowels recorded as the subject. Five were coded as being about existence, two as being about food, one as about love, and one as about science. Half the lyrics about bowels were written collectively, while only 13% of other lyrics were written collectively. The

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-949969042003-05-28T10:22:00.000-07:002003-05-28T10:22:34.230-07:00

George W. Bush was raised by Barbara Bush, but who was Barbara Bush raised by?

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-949960002003-05-28T09:57:00.000-07:002003-05-28T09:57:33.540-07:00

I think you're onto a major story here: the SARS-wolf linkage. What if SARS did not emerge from poultry in China? What if its origins are distinctly canine? Suppose many of the World's Top People were raised by wolves? Wouldn't it make sense to create a smokescreen to deflect any detailed investigation of the true source of SARS? I think we should be told.

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-949531152003-05-27T12:32:00.000-07:002003-05-27T12:33:18.000-07:00

Alienated manicurists are another oppressed group whose plight has been publicized by the Lads. We here at HQ are getting really suspicious about this Nana Mouskouri thing. Every other performer is avoiding T. O., but Nana is there quicker than a rat up a drain. No fear of SARS on old Nana. Think it might have something to do with certain characteristics of her DNA?

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-949441232003-05-27T08:43:00.000-07:002003-05-27T08:43:56.740-07:00

Turning to others who were raised by wolves, there seems to have been a mixed bag in recent years in terms of "success". While the Pope seems to be doing very well - Poping along just fine - John Turner's star seems to be on the wane. The taboo group that remains the most neglected, though, is perhaps the Disembodied (This is not my body). It would be nice to see some of the self-promoting

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-949375072003-05-27T05:54:00.000-07:002003-05-27T05:55:14.000-07:00

DANGER! Nana Mouskouri is coming to Toronto! The Freelton Metamusic Organization has issued a travel advisory, telling its members not to visit Toronto unless absolutely necessary, and to exercise extreme caution when travelling in Toronto. The FMO stopped short of placing a bounty on Mouskouri's head.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-948937782003-05-26T05:17:00.000-07:002003-05-26T05:17:13.763-07:00

Speak of the devil -- Nana Mouskouri was in London, Ontario this past weekend. She's on tour, opening for Harry Belafonte (that's what it said int the London Free Press, although Harry must be about 100 now). Anyway, Mr. Belafonte was sick, so instead she opened for John macDermott. They drew 1,500 to a 5,500-seat arena. She needs to be performing a bit farther north where there is a significant

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-947964972003-05-23T11:23:00.000-07:002003-05-23T11:23:38.560-07:00

The Anchovies have also confronted the problem of being raised by wolves. And whatever happened to Nana Mouskouri, anyway?

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-947874732003-05-23T07:46:00.000-07:002003-05-23T07:46:03.060-07:00

I would add to Rupert's post the welcome recognition that we in the Lumpy community feel has been given by the Anchovies song Lumpy People. Too long have we been subjected to the opprobrium of conventional stereotyping.

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-947854142003-05-23T06:58:00.000-07:002003-05-23T06:58:02.946-07:00

Further data analysis guided by Rupert's suggestions is under way. Well, it will soon be under way. It will be under way in the near future, we can promise you that.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-947461982003-05-22T10:35:00.000-07:002003-05-22T10:35:44.470-07:00

This prompts the reflection that modernity's Freudian fear of matters excretile is only one of several taboos that are continually confronted by the metamusical "lads". Others include; senility (e.g. Senility High), death (Kierkegaarde Goes to Disneyland, Orbis Terroris - which also confronts the deepest of religious sentiments - "Hell is a world where you never, ever die") attachment (Involved),

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-946872222003-05-21T07:39:00.000-07:002003-05-21T07:40:29.000-07:00

This discussion points out that in her recent analysis of authenticity in the Anachro-oeuvre Dr. Bronwyn Spart-Hoxha omitted a classification. Perhaps her toilet training was too strict.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-944025992003-05-15T11:11:00.000-07:002003-05-15T11:11:33.403-07:00

Screamin' Jay Hawkins recorded "Constipation Blues" but did not explore the theme as the Anachronisms have. The Fugs did "River of Shit", but it was metaphorical shit. I also may be wrong about the dramatic content of "Johnny Pissoff." Now that I think of it, it seems chiefly to consist of the National Teenage Haiku Contest: Do not tell me I am source of your knock-up. The mud elephant wading

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-944004422003-05-15T10:27:00.000-07:002003-05-15T10:27:34.000-07:00

I'm sure I heard the Fugs but they're a bit vague in my memory; I should try to reacquaint myself. But you're dead-on about Zappa. I don't think the Anachros are into product endorsement as such; I guess Oat Bran Blues isn't as specific as Bran Buds but it's reasonably clear that if it improves bowel performance the Anchovies are for it, for a very large range of vales of "it". As Wentworth

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-942839302003-05-13T12:58:00.000-07:002003-05-13T12:58:41.460-07:00

Metamucil? Aren't the Anachronisms proponents of Bran Buds? Other groups which should be considered as precursors of the Anachronisms are Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention and the Fugs. In particular, both groups incorporated the dramatic into their work. That probably hasn't been noted often about the Fugs, but "Johnny Pissoff Meets the Red Angel" is clearly a dramatic work. So perhaps

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-940247182003-05-08T18:32:00.000-07:002003-05-08T18:35:37.000-07:00

That's it -- Roland Kirk. I knew you'd remember his name -- I couldn't for the life of me. Fellow with the funny horns. Thank you also for your careful delineation of the issues involved. As you deduced, I had been thinking of the Anchovies as a (metamusic)al group. As you so rightly point out, a meta(musicalgroup), and indeed even a simple (music)al group, need contain no (music)ians of any

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-940142422003-05-08T14:43:00.000-07:002003-05-08T14:43:00.590-07:00

I agree about SunRa and Ornette Coleman. Roland Kirk had his moments, too. What I failed to emphasize is a conception of the Anchovies as meta(musicalgroup) rather than meta(musical)group or meta(musical)meta(group). Which is to say that the Anchovies stand in relation to the entity "musical group",as a semiotic construction in modern society, as "metaphysics" stands in relation to "physics" or "

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-939446852003-05-07T12:38:00.000-07:002003-05-07T12:38:14.080-07:00

Many have aspired to metamusic, but few have been chosen. Four have been chosen, to be exact. Jazz spent a long time obsessed with incorporating non-Western influences, but the result was metacultural rather than metamusical. Ditto similar attempts in various pop genres, such as KRS1's attempt to rap in a South African accent. Thank you for raising the issue of metamucilage, which takes us back

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-939439532003-05-07T12:23:00.000-07:002003-05-07T12:23:38.000-07:00

A poem by Sid Herpes: MUSIC If music be the food of love I barf. (pp D. D. de Nemours)

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-939363762003-05-07T09:54:00.000-07:002003-05-07T09:57:58.000-07:00

The 50th anniversary of the scaling of Everest by a White Man reminds me that it's pretty lonely out here, being a metamusical group. Who may be said to be our sherpas or vice-versa? Captain Beefheart had his metamusical moments but was he a group? Could he be said to have constructred an oeuvre beyond "Trout Mask Replica"? David Wisdom of Radio Sonic (on the wretched CBC) promotes Wildman

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-939268522003-05-07T06:58:00.000-07:002003-05-07T06:58:08.566-07:00

I have a bootleg version of "O, I've Leaf Sex" by the neopunk band VO2 Max. Is this retroactive telepathic unconscious plagiarism? I think we should be told. Lyttegaet, Apeehl, Apeehl, Apeehl and Appelagen should be put on standby. The Law is an asp Slithering through our souls Its fangs ever bared

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-938867352003-05-06T14:39:00.000-07:002003-05-06T15:28:20.000-07:00

An excellent point -- the Anchovies' work is also meta-anagrammatical. The title is also an anagram of "O, I've Leaf Sex," the art-rock classic which I composed in my head in 1968 but forgot to write down and which hence was never recorded. And of course it is also an anagram of "Feel Via Sox," the "supreme rule" of Japanese cult leader Hiroyuki Roshomon, author of the haiku I can feel my feet

Wentworth Suttonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-938760732003-05-06T11:15:00.000-07:002003-05-06T11:15:37.000-07:00

True but it's also an anagram of "Vales of Xie", which is a well-known reference to the works of the so-called drunken poets of Xie, which is in Guangdong province. An example: I lie on a bed which is not here so I lie.

ruperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17900617222248219758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-938657002003-05-06T08:03:00.000-07:002003-05-06T08:10:45.000-07:00

Wentworth Sutton writes: The worship of virtuosity is simply another sign of the dominance of the obsessive-compulsive personality in society, a dominance, as I have pointed out elsewhere, which is waning with the increasing sophisitcation of communications technology. In the new schizoid-dominated society there will be no virtuosi. Any human function which can be will be offloaded to software.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-938049282003-05-05T08:37:00.000-07:002003-05-05T08:38:24.000-07:00

"When you're not technically a virtuoso, you have to be saying something. You've got no place to hide." (Art Farmer) In the Anachro-oeuvre, virtuosity and non-virtuosity are combined. Virtuosi on one instrument play other instruments, for example.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-938037652003-05-05T08:15:00.000-07:002003-05-05T08:15:33.623-07:00

It's truly metamusical. You have been told! We considered heavy metal posturing but decided we would go with four dimensional quadrophonic mirroring instead. It was all Hector's idea (you know the French)

Carlosnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-936006832003-05-01T09:00:00.000-07:002003-05-01T09:00:48.176-07:00

Is the CD title Axes of Evil truly metamusical? Or have the lads descended into some sort of heavy metal posturing? I think we should be told.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5343267.post-935670732003-04-30T18:45:00.000-07:002003-04-30T18:45:08.493-07:00

Metamusic, megagroup.

Actual Analysishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18080726368498243327noreply@blogger.com